Many of us who are now saved, and have turned our lives over to Christ have a salvation story. A tale of how it all came to be. Im always so intrigued to hear others share a little bit of how they met God, and up to the day they went to their watery grave. They all have a great smile on their face, and such a sense of pride in their voice. I love that about people, and I love that we all have a savior that loves us so much, and isn't partial to anyone. Each story is unique, so different, and needs to be heard. In essence, its the most important day in ones life. On that day we live and we die, and are raised with Christ.
Mine comes from a broken hearted place. I'm sure i'm not the only one who has had breakup. We all remember our first love, the person we gave our heart to completely at that time in our life. We give ourselves away , and pieces remain in each others hearts forever. We create soul ties, bonds if you will with people, so deep that our mind, will, and emotions connect and form roots deep withing our hearts. Years ago that was me. I gave my whole heart to a boy. We dated much longer than most puppy love couples date. A few years after high school, it seemed college life was quickly approaching. Like fork in the road, so our lives went. Its natural to have abitions for our future. To me, it seemed like overnight that relationship just didnt work out for us. There was no wrongs done, no hurts, no lies, no cheating, or anything devastating. It just was not the best thing for our ever expanding future. I didn't make this decision, nor did I fully understand why? I really did think we would end up together forever, and happily ever after like Cinderella and The handsome prince, like Jasmine and Aladdin, maybe even Donald and Daisy. I was wrong, very wrong, and I felt mis-led, confused, cheated, abandoned, tossed aside like a dirty sock. Unbeknownst to me at the time God had a better plan for me.
I was raised in a Catholic setting, and I can only ever remember going to church a few times a year. I had no clue of who Jesus really was, what he had done for me, or even how to pray. I was clueless. I thank God even today for my best friends in the world. As I was in devastation, tears, and vulnerability, they were there 24 hours a day for me. They were going through this with me. Praying for me, making me laugh again, and telling me about the Good news of the Cross. I stayed over at their house for a few weeks. Weeks turned into months at a time. My parents were concerened but because it was only down the street, they were somewhat ok with it. I still remember feeling that no one understood me. The next couple of years were very emotional, sad, spiraling downward into a severe depression. I felt like somone died, and forcefully took a piece of me with them. Friends tried to cheer me up, I was starting to frighten even myself with suicidal thoughts and battling alot of feelings of regret and unworthiness. Life was awful, mean, and unfair. I started pretending I was ok to keep from losing friends, and getting my parents off my back, and to prevent from losing my job where I had to smile alot .
One morning, over coffee my friend asked me if I was ready to leave the past to have a new life. I was at the point where I had finally acccepted what had happened would not be repaired. I said yes. She asked me a series of questions in which I gave very truthful answeres about repentance. I took about a week too think about it, and I was ready to make my decision to live for Christ public. I was ready to be baptized.
On a warm summer day, the Pastor came over to my friends house. He showed up lookin cool, on a mean Harley Davidson, he had awesome colorful tattoos, many of them with crosses and bible verses.
After praying together, I stepped into the swimming pool. I remembered feeling really guilty that my parents werent there. I told them what was happening that night but it was not something they approved of, but I continued on because I knew it was the best decision for me. It gave me hope, and hope was desperately needed in my life. Down the steps into the pool I felt like I had a ball and chain attatched to my feet. I could not help but feel like i was doing something wrong, like I was betraying my family's religion. We didnt do things like this, we didnt ever see a full grown person being baptized. It was all new to me, I felt held back, but I felt free. Its a fantastic feeling that I can remember, but I cant ever describe it properly into words, so you will just have to trust me on this.
It was night, silent, the stars were glowing and the subtle glow of the pool waters illuminated the backyard of my friends home. With my closest friends sitting by us, and the Pastor and I in the pool we began. He held my hand and with the other he held a bible and read:
He told me my sins were forgiven, the ones from the past , present, and future. That my debt was paid. He told me that from the moment that I rise from the water, April has died, and passed into new life. That a new creature emerges from the watery grave.
He said I would be buried with Christ, and live eternally. He put the bible aside, and said "April, I baptize you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of your sins."
I went down, and I heard the crash of water, and when I came up I gasped my first breath of air, and when I opened my eyes I saw my friends smiling and teary eyed, and clapping. I felt really happy. We had steaks, and celebrated the rest of the evening.
To be honest, I didnt feel different. Not one bit. I really did think I would be instantly changed for some reason. Life resumed, and I was still sad. I was gifted a bible, and I began picking it up when I needed encouragement like they had instructed me to. I didnt understand it, and it all was foreign to me. Fast forward 7 years, I am writing this blog with a big fat smile on my face. SO MUCH has happened in my life since. So many bad things, and lots of great things, trajedies, and lots of laughing.
Today is July 12th, 2012. I can honestly say, im transformed. From the inside out. I look back at the awesome day when my past was put to rest. The day I was redeemed, and I just see the transformation in action. Im not complete yet. He isn't done with me. So many chapters still to come! Im so thankful for my life, and thank God because He saved me. I dont want to think about my life had I not followed through and showed up that day.
Anyway, this is my story. I hope it encouraged you, and made you smile.
Thanks for reading.
Gods blessings to you
~April
